The time is 10 o’clock. Since the last complaint floated out of the nursery, Rebecca Scrollferdaiz has been doomscrolling as the children went down at eight. Dave, her spouse, sits next her on the couch, frantically tapping his own screen. Rebecca knows she should be in bed before eleven, but the dinner dishes are still piled high in the sink. In a realistic way? At best, midnight. Most likely at 1:30 a.m.
A ache strikes as her Facebook timeline is filled with pictures of happy families and old friends. The community, the social group, the easy companionship, and the brunches she expected maturity to bring, never quite came to pass. Yes, she occasionally gets together with a friend from college or a HOA acquaintance. But mimosas on a Saturday morning? No brunch. No mimosas. And certainly no pals.
Rebecca becomes quite desperate as a result. After discovering a Facebook connect group, she posts that she’s looking for mom buddies! She briefly feels hopeful when dozens of ladies who share her views reply. When is the moment to follow up, though? There are still dishes to wash. Dave puts his phone away after winning his game, and they fold laundry together while watching TV in part. The loneliness still persists. Postponed only. She is reminded of the pain once more as she responds to someone else’s friend-seeking post.
It’s time to end the loop if this sounds familiar. I’ve put together a list of organizations and activities in this post that can help you start the process of creating the community you’ve been dreaming about.
Life on the D-List
Although it may be awkward to acknowledge, you are the friend on the D-list. You are aware of the kind. whose children are not invited to birthday celebrations unless the entire preschool class is present. The person who goes out for coffee three times a year with individuals you consider friends but who never appears to be invited to the Friday night patio gathering or the pickleball group chat. You’re not precisely an outcast. You’re not entirely in, though. This odd liminal place between inclusion and seclusion also feels more and more familiar to many millennial mothers.
Loneliness among millennials is nothing new. This epidemic is warned about by study after study. According to a 2021 report from Harvard’s Making Caring Common project, 43% of young adults experience loneliness most of the time. The statistics are considerably more alarming for mothers. According to a Motherly poll conducted in 2023, 79% of mothers say they feel lonely at least occasionally, while 30% say they feel lonely regularly or usually.
It’s easy to place the blame elsewhere. For job, we relocated across the nation. Our college pals dispersed to the winds. Although social media helps us feel connected, it also makes us feel more alone. However, there is another possibility that we rarely discuss aloud because it is too personal: occasionally we are to blame for our loneliness.
Importance of the C Word
Not totally, of course. Situations in life are important. However, connections need to be nurtured. You have to be amiable if you want friends. Furthermore, being friendly doesn’t mean waiting for an invitation in your living room. It’s starting. It is appearing. It’s remaining dedicated even when it’s uncomfortable or draining. And when your efforts don’t immediately result in the tight-knit village or breakfast crew you’ve always dreamed of, it’s time to try again.
The stakes feel particularly high for mothers. Instead than only talking about friendship, we must provide an example for our kids. Nevertheless, becoming a mother frequently makes us more afraid of being rejected. We’re worn out. We have too many plans. We do not wish to enforce. Therefore, we fall back on low-maintenance friendships that seem fulfilling on Instagram but are unfulfilling in real life.
The harsh reality is that friendships are built via repetition.
Subtle habits are what hold us back. When the baby doesn’t nap, you decide to cancel your coffee date. Despite joining the mom’s group, you ignore the text thread. You wait for someone else to suggest supper or organize the playdate at the park. You tell yourself that you’re simply busy, but you know deep down that there’s a price for your lack of initiative.
It does, too. The paradox is that, rather than requiring less vulnerability, developing friends as an adult calls for greater vulnerability. You must be prepared to take a small chance of shame. Even if you’re worried that nobody will show up, you still need to send the text, organize the walk, and arrange the game night. Reliability, not common interests or a flawless chemistry, is what gradually forges new friendships, therefore you must fight the impulse to break up when your energy levels drop.
This has nothing to do with becoming amiable in order to move up some unseen social scale. It involves repeatedly putting the connecting habits into practice until they become ingrained. The psychologist Marisa G. Franco makes the case that friendship isn’t something you find in her book Platonic. You have to build it. Additionally, building requires perseverance.At The North Georgia Hellenics 1442 Craft Cocktails & Cafe, NGHS healthcare worker Haley Floyd, Brittany Grella of Aerial Mountain Springs, and Allie Correa of Arrows Farm socialize. The Cute North Georgian Magazine took the picture.
Yes, your attempts will occasionally fail. Someone you invite for coffee will postpone twice before ignoring you completely. You ll join a neighborhood group and discover that the people there aren t your tribe. Withdrawing and telling yourself that you’re better off alone would be the simple solution. The harsh reality is that friendships are built via repetition.
Consider the individuals you regard as true friends. How many invitations, conversations, and shared moments did it take before you got there? dozens, most likely. Hundreds, perhaps. And yet, when it comes to making new friends, we expect instant intimacy or we give up.
This is where millennial culture hasn t served us well. We came of age believing in curated best friendships, in the soulmate-level connection you see in sitcoms and social feeds. But real friendship is messier and slower. It s less about mimosas and more about showing up to help someone move a couch or watching their kid so they can shower in peace.
To be clear, loneliness isn t a moral failure. It s an emotional signal a cue to reach out and reconnect. But if you keep finding yourself on the margins, if you keep scrolling through photos of other people s gatherings and wondering why you weren t invited, maybe it s time to ask: Am I putting in the effort I expect others to put in with me? That important C word? dedication.
Local events and activities to help facilitate friendship
One such group is the North Georgia Hellenics, an adult women s sorority designed to foster meaningful friendships, community service, and cultural connection in the North Georgia region. The group welcomes women from all walks of life who are looking for more than surface-level interactions here, you ll find shared experiences, regular meetups, and a network of support. To stay connected and coordinate events, members use a dedicated GroupMe chat, making it easy to engage and participate no matter your schedule.At their last meeting, members gathered at 1442 Craft Cocktails & Cafe in downtown Clarkesville over espresso martinis and Diet Cokes, played trivia, and chatted late into the evening. It s a networking group without the boring speeches or heavy dues focused instead on companionship and genuine connection.
Interested in joining? Email[email protected]and followThe Cute North Georgian Magazinevia Facebook &Instagramfor updates.
Another helpful resource is theHabersham Moms Facebook group, an active online community where local mothers come together to share advice, swap recommendations, and plan real-life meetups. Moms post about everything from trusted pediatricians and school insights to organizing impromptu park playdates or coffee meetups. It s a space for asking questions, finding support, and connecting with other moms who understand the unique challenges and joys of raising kids in the Habersham area.Interested in joining? Follow this link,HERE.Princess Tea Party As the rain begins to fall, the girls retreat to the charming indoor-outdoor space at Arrows Farms, sipping tea and sharing giggles. (Photo by The Cute North Georgian Magazine)
You can also check outMommy and Me of Northeast Georgia, a group where moms and kids mix, mingle, play, and learn together throughout Habersham County. Each event is uniquely designed to engage children meaningfully while giving moms time to talk and build friendships. Founded by two educators Allie Correa ofArrows Farmsand Carly McCurry ofThe Cute North Georgian Magazinethis group creates thoughtful, enriching experiences for families looking to connect. At their last event, hosted at Arrows Farms, children painted pots with flower petals and planted plants, played in the field, relaxed on hammocks and swings, explored the garden, and picked flowers. Meanwhile, moms chatted, exchanged phone numbers, and added each other on social media, building connections as their children played.
Their next event will take place atMr. Biscuits Caf in Clarkesville, where children will create cards and letters for deployed soldiers as part of Operation Gratitude. Kids will enjoy crafts and games while moms sip coffee and connect. Tickets for the event help fund the activities and provide supplies $10 for one child and $15 for families with siblings. Moms are always included in the ticket and receive a free biscuit as part of the experience.
Another group worth mentioning isYoung Adults of North Georgia, founded and run by Briana Webb. This is an active social page designed for millennials and young adults in the region who are looking to build community, find new friendships, and enjoy casual connections. The group hosts occasional meetups. The Facebook page stays lively with posts, suggestions for gatherings, and ways to connect between events, making it a great starting point for anyone seeking community. The link to this group isHERE.
Build your village
Start small. Say yes to the invitation even when you re tired. Plan the coffee instead of waiting for someone else to suggest it. Send the follow-up text even if they didn t respond last time. You might have to try with five people before one sticks. Try anyway.
Because there s a good chance the woman you re watching on Instagram, laughing over wine with her village, has also felt on the outside. Maybe she tried. Maybe she kept showing up. Maybe that s why she s there now.
So, if you find yourself folding laundry at 11 p.m., wondering why you re not part of the group chat, don t wait for a fairy godmother to deliver you the brunch crew of your dreams. Be the one who sends the first message. Be the one who doesn t flake. Be the one who keeps trying.
The village isn t going to build itself.
